Monday, April 18, 2011

back in Cape Town

So I made it through the farewell at the airport.Aroon,Tatum,Sacha and Sashe were there to bid me farewell.
We had time for a coffee and we got to take some pics.I didn't take one pic at the Durbs farewell!Guess I was taking it all in and enjoying the moments and somehow I didn't have an urge to take pics!Silly me though as now I regret it.
Saying goodbye at the gate was rather difficult.I couldn't stop tearing and more so as those last hugs and kisses were extra extra special.
I wish I could have bottled them up and carried it with me ;) LOL
It was really special having them there and more so as the Christophers despite landing the day before made the effort to come see me off.
To top it off they also arrived with a gift bag of the most thoughtful goodies for my trip.
Once through the gate I was trying to stop the tears and just as I did I ran into Kav which was great as it forced me to centre myself.
Soon after when heading to the plane I continued to tear!People must have been real curious as to what is going on in my world.
Once on the flight I felt ok as the sun shone onto my cheek and for me that was a positive sign re my trip ahead :)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

farewell Durbs

I have woken up this morning with butterflies in my tummy.
Working on settling them down....thinking of the people who made the effort to come through yesterday to Aroons place as we changed the venue due to the pouring rain.
It really poured!!!!Friends came in and out and saying goodbye to each person kept cranking the butterflies up in my tummy.
I think thanks to my friends kids they were a distraction from deep conversations and too many questions about how I am feeling ;)
Some friends brought along tokens-gifts for me to take home.Two books on faith,a goodie box filled with things that reminded my friend of me when we worked together years ago(there were Hello Kitty items too!),a beautiful scarf and all round good wishes and generosity.
Aroon was an absolute star helping with the gate letting people in and out so I could chat on with others.
It really was a fab afternoon but once hit the bath I had a proper sob as I bottled in the emotion when saying goodbye to all my friends.
I sat there also hoping that I am doing the right thing and was second guessing my families feeling about me going.
I guess the whole anxiety around mums future is holding their full blown excitement for me....I don't know.I guess this is where that silly world of "expectations" and "perception" comes into play.
I gently reminded myself last night that not everyone deals with things the same way and it doesn't mean that as they don't show it or talk about my trip all the time that they are not supportive and excited for me.Well the reality is that even if they are not happy with it they I know they are and will be supportive when need be.
A gentle reminder of the bond that we have was little Adam asking his dad about his siblings and saying to him that we are friends.His perception of us as siblings really warmed my heart.
I often pine for more communication between us and have realised that this is my longing for something missing.I am a person who loves constant communication and this makes me feel apart of...however I have come along way realising that we are all busy in our everyday lives and a lack of communication now and then is not a sign of less love or less of a bond.
Anyhoo enough ramblings.....time to get ready for the day.Wish me luck!
P.S-I did rcv a text all the way from Seattle yesterday afternoon from my sis who was thinking of me during my picnic.This meant the world to me and was super special.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Aboard the bus heading to the airport

Its a beautiful day in Cpt and here am I sitting on the Myciti bus en-route to the airport for my flight to Durbs.
I feel a little sad already as this trip is a different type of trip.One that I have not done before-one which is a farewell to my friends and family.We never know when we will see each other again.
I never take life for granted as you just don't know what tomorrow holds.
I am also not feeling well which is a bummer.I started sneezing,burning throat and potential aches tingling here and there.
I think a little bit of stress yesterday brought this on.
I also have already been feeling sad around the fact that despite the joy of having mum here in my last month it deeply saddens me to see her in such intense pain and I can see she has lost a little bit more of her spark.
I am so grateful to have her here and to be able to have more special moments together even if its a small chat face to face.
Anyhoo I am missing out on the scenery so best I put this mobile away.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A beautiful day out

On Monday Mitan and I for old times sake hit the gym in the morning.We did a double crunch workout in order to pack it all in.Mitan and I used to gym together year before last for a short period of abt two months.We kept each other motivated and became spinning class addicts.
It was so good to re-live that experience and to top it off we got to attend a spinning class with one of our fave instructors "Arthur."
We had such an awesome work out.We then dashed home and got ready for our day out to Kalk Bay.Cashel,Mitan and I boarded the train from Newlands and enjoyed the sights and sounds.It really is a most beautiful journey along the seaside as you approach Muizenberg.I could see that even some of the local commuters still appreciate the scenery as they too were standing up to peer out of the window.
I kept gasping at the beauty of this city and I let it all sink in.
We got off in Kalk Bay starving!As we walked through Kalk bay deciding where to eat we spotted the most yummy looking red velvet cupcakes at a coffee shop called "Tribeca".
Cashel suggested we buy some takeaways as they might dissapear before we thought we would head back there after lunch.
We secured our cupcakes and went over to Brass Bell.What a gorgeous view and what a stunning day.We had a seat right next to the big glass windows.
It was perfect.During lunch an old lady came to do some laps in the tidal pool next to us.I felt the joy the woman must get from swimming there.I of course felt like I should be in there swimming too!Lol She looked like she did this daily.
After a lunch of random chatter and very good laughs we headed to Tribeca and ended up having hot beverages and the cupcakes out of the takeaway box.Lol
Those cupcakes were so YUM!!!!!At long last I had a decent red velvet cupcake.
We then took a walk through the Main road and window shopped and then headed back to the station.We were tired by then so we sat silently and enjoyed the ride.I recall sitting there feeling deeply grateful for our friendship and for this beautiful day we had had so far and grateful for a damn good tummy workout due to all the laughter!I had not laughed like that in a long time.I cried from laughter and following the morning workout my tummy was a little sore.
We got back to town and chilled for a while and then had a final dinner with Mitan and his friends before he headed back to Jozi the next day.We sat at the bakers table @ Cafe Paradiso and had a most delicous meal.Yip I did have my fave linguine with chilli,parsley and garlic.Simple pastas are the best.
We shared a most delicious choc fondant after our main with a yummy scoop of ice cream.Perfect ending to the three musketeers day :) I went to bed with my heart glowing.The next morning I received an email from Mitan that brought me to tears of gratitude.
He expressed his gratitude for our friendship and was thankful for the day we three had together.Well let me tell you that was the start of an odd tear here and there just at the thought of the friendships and special moments I have experienced and shared here in Cpt.Even a song has triggered some tears this morning.All happy tears :)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Not long to go

So I managed to pin down my final working day which is the 21st April prior to the easter long weekend.
Does not leave me with many working days left due to lieu days owed etc so basically as of Monday I have 11 working days left.
Lots to wrap up,some training to fit in with the new reservations manager who is coming in especially to have some handover as she only officially joins in May.
This is really a bumper month ahead and I need to desperately get a grip of my energy levels.I am feeling sapped on most days and am not getting to the gym as much as I should.
Started with my vitamins again this week.As much as I have a busy timeline mapped out on my calendar on the back of my bedroom door as well as a copy in my handbag its all very exciting.
Today I experienced attending the last "You make the difference awards" monthly do at work and I sat there thrilled to have shared those experiences over the years and was pleased with myself that on occassion have been nominated too :)
I fell victim to the yummy pastis de nata on the spread and then felt hell of a guilty for having it and this is beacause I know I am not gyming as much as I should!
Anyhoo time is a ticking,three weeks left with my car,two farewell picnics in two different cities and lots to wrap up.Woohoo!!!!
Stay tuned for updates....
Btw my brother Adhil and Bridget have got engaged this eve in Florence!!!!I am so thrilled for them.
They are on an amazing trip travelling through Italy.(Wow wee...)
Am so grateful for Adhils daily texts updating us as to where they are and what they doing.Feeling deep gratitude this evening for a close knit family who show a keen interest in each others experiences.Been consciously thinking of this since last night as I spoke to a family friend from my childhood who has been living an unhappyt life for almost ten years now which has just gone downhill and for me one of the most natural questions was "What does your siblings say" and she said "they don't live here and are busy in their own lives."
My heart felt really sore for her as through my lens I always viewed them as a family who are close knit and would keep communication flowing.
Sometimes my siblings and my life gets busy but I think between us four there is always someone reminding each other that we here and share in each others moments.Hopefully we never reach a point of those long silences where months go back "because life got busy."
Its an excuse which for never sits well.Btw thinking of creating a new blog dedicated to my Dubai experience.
I feel as I am starting a new chapter a new blog is fitting :) Hopefully I will get to load pics more regularly too.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

into the DEEP cleaning out!

So I have been doing real well with this clearing out mission.Funny enough its been fairly easy to part with my "stuff" as in my heart it feels right.
People say I am brave to be chucking out and starting over!It feels damn good-let me tell you that much :)
I keep thinking that a lot of this "stuff" sits there in my cupboards probablty wishing they could be seen.(Well that's if the stuff was living!)
What's the use of having all of this when there are tons of people there who would love to have some of my stuff.I have given my stuff to a variety of people-people who are in need,people who wouldn't mind little reminders of me,people who think my stuff could benefit them...
Why have all this stuff put into storage anyway.I don't know what the future holds...who knows where I might go from Dubai.
I don't want to look back thinking "Damn I should have given my stuff to people to use versus it sitting in storage in the dark collecting dust and not being a part of someones everyday joy :)
On a day off today.Spent the morning at the gym...set up two fb invites for my farewells in Cpt and Durbs-still need to contact the peeps not on fb,cleared out loads of stuff and now am at a hidden gem in the city centre "Deluxe Coffee Works" having their much talked abt 10 bucks damn good coffee!
Nice to catch a breather :)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ramblings and findings of a 21 year olds journal

While clearing out some of my storage boxes I came across one of my old journals.
I love journals-jotting down my thoughts and feelings is close to my heart.
This particular journal had entries from my 21 year old mind.I of course read them-made myself comfy and took myself back in time.
Each entry was addressed to Dad.I came a few entries where I stated that the home front was stressful,I was trying my best to do what I could to make things lighter and it didn't feel good enough,Mum was highly stressed and not managing it well and I mentioned in an entry that mum had been to the casino thrice that week and the days after she was always tired and ratty and all I was longing for was more time with her to do mother-daughter things.
I also mentioned to "Dad" that I was amazed at how mum was juggling this all and how she missed him.
I also touched on a siblings temper that was getting out of hand and was not appreciated at that time!!!Lol
I funny enough also had an entry about a possible trip to Dubai on the cards!!!
I then tore the papers up and trashed them.Wonder what other journals I will find.
I was amused and sad at the same time while reading those entries and I mentioned them to my mum.Now you probably wondering why would I do that as it might upset her.
I see it as it was real-I felt those feelings at that time and mum was def doing the best she could in her world at the time.
Lifes lessons have come from them.There is no escaping the reality.We too often go through life not discussing the real matters and I have chosen to embrace them and learn from them best I can.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

deathbead mentality

Well even though I try to live each day like this I just have this extra energy and just want to make sure I leave with my a trail of good memories for the people I leave behind at the Nelly.
I feel as if I have this extra energy and bounce and am savouring each work day that much more :)
Today one of my ex general managers called as he heard the news re me leaving.Out of concern he went on about me being a single lady going on my own and he said its tough out there.
I get that and I feel its a calling for me to go and the reasons I will reveal once there.
I am mentally prepping myself and I am going to give it my best shot :) I sure am a tough cookie.
He did in the same breathe of cross questioning me and trying to convince me to stay say that he is sad that I am leaving.
It meant a lot to hear him say that.I really enjoyed working with him back in the day.Easy going GM who found time for laughs and was so approachable.
Lots of fonds memories :) Well I continue to channel this new found energy to those around me!
Can't tell you how much more exciting the workplace has become for me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Start of the farewells

Today I had to bid farewell to my all time fave guests "The Mannings."
I thought all will be fine with my emotions until I got to the lounge and saw these two very smartly dressed people.
They looked as if they were about to head off to dinner at a smart restaurant.
Mr.Manning was dressed in formal longs and Mrs.in a beautiful blue dress with jewellery too!!
Not often that I see people that smartly dressed to board the flight back to the U.K!!!!
They looked adorable.We sat in the lounge and Austen the lounge manager took a photo of us for me on my camera.
The last few minutes chatting with them was sure challenging as I could not stop thinking that was probably the last time I will see them.
I walked them to their transfer waiting to leave to the airport and Mrs. kept telling me that she will miss me and Mr.wished me all the best and rekons I deserve it.
Helping Mrs into the car broke my heart as due to her stroke she battles with the one side of her body.
I helped her get in which was a battle and I could see she was embarassed about me helping her which was much needed.She then grabbed my hand once seated and told me again that she will miss me.(I am tearing as I write this)
I could not help but think of my mum in that moment.Mr came around the vehicle,gave me a formal handshake and a kiss on each cheek and wished me well again.
By now I had the biggest lump in my throat and when I got to the office started tearing.
Nothing lasts forever and I am just grateful I had the opportunity to meet this beautiful couple.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

What a weekend

Gee whizz!I have had a spectacular weekend with Aroon and Bear.Yesterday had such an awesome flow chilling,sun on our skin and chit chat.
We had a touch of Paradiso and Sidewalk added to the mix too :)
Last night we had dinner from the eastern food bazaar at home.It was so good to sit and eat together.
I love meals at a table and more so with good friends and family.
This morning Yas and I went to support Aroon and Bear at the big event.On arrival at Suikerbossie I fought back the tears a few times thinking that here these guys are after commiting and training.
Couldn't help but ooze with an overwhelming exciting feeling.
The atmosphere was magical and really there is something so special about the human race coming together for events like this and the joy you see on their faces.
Why can't we live in harmony like that on a daily basis with each other????
Being with Yas and Jeanne was great and we kept the "gees" going.
The music was good and we were in awe of the riders and the effortd they put in to their attire too!
I left wishing I had got there earlier to cheer more of the riders on.Standing there cheering I thought of my gran who used to head to 45th ave in Sherwood during the comerades to cheer the runners on.
I can imagine the good times she had.I now get into bed after a most special weekend and a great dinner at Hudsons with Anu and Sahil too.All in all a most "AWE0S0ME" weekend.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

feeling a lil low but will turn it around

Woke up feeling a little strange.Called mum to see how she is doing and it fueled my feeling even more.
Mum sounded so despondent and I rekon its because of the deep pain she is in.Her tablet quota from the hospital has been used for the month so she can't het more right now.
Mum also asked me if Tatum will take her to the shops this weekend.I just wonder why does mum not reach out to all those who have said they are willing and there for her.
Why is mum not making contact?Well I also guess she is feeling more so in a dark hole processing that she is not allowed to drive anymore.
I hate to think what she is going through in her world however I can't get my head around her not wanting to reach out to people there for her.
I felt so helpless after the call and could hear her irritation about people telling her to look at the brighter things.
This worries me but I guess I need to keep the faith and hope around her coming around.We not in her shoes so really I don't know what's best for her.Anyhoo best I continue to enjoy the sunshine on my skin,take in this view from Raw Cafe and look forward to time with Aroon and Bear.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

big exhale

Yesterday I handed in my letter of resignation at the hotel!!!A long and most life enriching chapter has come to an end and I am packing my bags for Dubai!!!!!
Yes,yes,yes!Can you believe it.I had closed the door on the idea of going to work there and had it on my list of places to visit one day however Dubai came knocking on my door.
I was contacted by the Jumeirah group and have been through a series of telephonic interviews which flowed beautifully and just over a month and a bit of the interview process I am off to Dubai.
A difficult decision as of course I am leaving my family and friends behind and my mums illness having spread had been difficult to process.
Through prayer and guidance,mums blessings and me trusting life I am going.Life waits for no one and we have to deal with lifes gifts and challenges as they unfold.
I think mum will be at ease in her heart to see me crafting the next step of my life.
We have shared many beautiful moments together and possibly there are many more awaiting us.
Mum is a fighter and a strong woman and I leave knowing she is 100% happy with my decision and is supportive.
A new adventure awaits me,new places to discover,new people to inspire and to be inspired by,more lessons await and much much more.
Its never easy saying goodbye and I had my first round of it in Jozi where we sis and her hubby hosted a beautiful breakfast for my friends.It was a most enjoyable and special morning and I was touched by everyones presence.
Saying goodbye was not easy despite me not showing it however I know we will all keep in touch.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Times they are a changing

Exciting adventure on the horizon....WATCH THIS SPACE

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Beautiful time spent with Verushka

Sitting and reflecting on a most enjoyable few days with Vees.It is very rare that we get to spend qt with certain friends due to us living in different cities so these few days have been uber special.
Vees came to town for the U2 concert which blew us away.High energy concert.It was totally amazing.Bono oozed with passion and surely delivered more than our monies worth.
Last night Sahil,Anu,Vees and I were on a waitlist at Cafe Paradiso and next thing you know we were confirmed the table in the heart of the bakers kitchen.
What an intimate dinner with stories shared.I sat there feeling to blessed to have these amazing people in my life and was so grateful for us to be together.
After Kamal,Tatum and I had a spur of the month dinner @ Spigs in Durbs which is a very rare occassion it reminded me once again that nothing lasts forever and when you have these rare gatherings one must really take it all in and savour the moments :)
So with that said best I get ready for brekkies @ Cafe Milano with Vees,Sulona,Sahil,Anu,Dills and Bridget.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Just what the doctor ordered

I woke up feeling exhausted and had a tingle in my throat.
Shock and horror ran through me for a split moment as there is absolutely no room for getting ill in these few days leading up to the event.
I chose to ignore it and despite being tired chased some early morning air and sights and sounds on the promenade and actually did well on a small run.
Memories of mum and I walking there just flooded my head.
I also felt a lil depleted within my soul and had thought of calling Dills to meet for brekkies but gave it a miss as I thought its too early for him and best I rest at home and nurse this throat.
I know for a fact that I had a very hard two days at work and the stress I guess pushed my immune system down.
Next thing you know I played with the idea in my head of asking Adhil if we could catch our Sunday movie which lately we have been doing on a weekday but then I didn't want to intrude on his and Brigets time.
My soul felt like good family time.
Next thing you know Adhil called to say he is downstairs and asked if I am keen on breakfast!!!!
I jumped up so quickly and off we went to try out the new Cafe Milano on Kloof street.
What an awesome morning spent together.He then dropped me at home and I thought its best I catch some sleep.When I awoke I headed to Dills to fetch some vitamins and as I was leaving he mentioned Briget going out with her boet and he asked if I was keen on our movie night.
Wow wee its as if the universe was just playing out my thoughts and lil desires.
A little later Dills picked me up.My heart continued to glow :)
We had something to eat including a "flu fighter tea" for me,did some shopping and then watched "Black Swan" which was brilliant!!!!
I now reflect on the day and yes still have a tingly throat that I am hopeful after a good nights rest will be gone and
I am so grateful for the beautiful day that I had my with boet.
I also keep thinking abt all his travels coming up and something pending on my journey I best make the most of our movie dates as we don't know if they might come to a temporary hault ;)Nothing lasts forever :(

Saturday, January 29, 2011

This is it

Well I have had this haze in my mind while trying to map out what I would like to achieve out of 2011!The good news is its starting to lift and I advise you to watch this space this week for a little more insight. Patience.....patience.....patience.
BTW cant believe that January has come and gone!Lots of exciting things coming up....Midmar-duh!,U2 concert the following weekend,Robin Sharma in Feb and then Aroon and Bear will be with us in CPT in March to do the Argus.Those are just a few highlights for now......

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday morning beauty

Decided to get moving a little earlier and sit at Vida on Kloof before work to take in the morning vibe.
The parking dude said that its strictly 30min as the cops are around so I decided to take a to go and ventured up Kloof street.
I found "a shady spot" and by shady I don't mean dodge.Lol
So much for shade as its super humid this morn.
I found a stunning view,pulled out my book to read and just chilled.
Feeling good and ready to manage the day :)

Monday, January 17, 2011

People you may know-Ashok Patel

This morning and this evening I scrolled to the bottom of my facebook page only to see under the people you may know header "Ashok Patel" which is the name of my late dad.
I felt an immediate blow to my tummy on both occassions.
Well of course there are other Ashok Patels in the world but you don't expect it to come up on facebook!
Strange feeling.....

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

feeling of uncertainty

In a little bit of an irritable mood cos its the start of the year and I feel like getting my hands on a crystal ball to see where my year takes me.
I am trying to manage my thoughts and feelings as best possible and over the past few days have been doing some morning and evening relaxation exercises,writing in my new gratitude journal for 2011 and been listening to Deepak Chopras tune on the Budhha bar cd.
Def helps big time.I have a great feeling that something big is coming my way.Stay tuned :)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

2011 my best year yet!

So having received many wishes that I exceed the joys and achievements of 2010 I am breathing this wish in and starting to plot all that I desire and envision.
Life aint going to give anyone a chance to hit a pause button so as I have done in 2010 I am diving into new adventures and exploring more opprotunities in life.
Recently I have not been enjoying work and for the first time I have had sunday blues which never happens to me nor do I have a pang in my tummy on the way to work but somehow these feelings are sneaking in and I know why.
I am thirsty for something new and challenging and I am yearning for more growth and I have reached end within my role.
I am always one to look for the silver lining and turnaround feelings that I don't like and I make the most of where I am in every moment however I think I have now hit a wall where that well is low on fuel to fulfill me stagnating in my growth.
It has been coming on for a while and I wanted to see world cup through and managed to keep creative at work and busy and take on a fun additional role.
I wanted to see through a final xmas season too and improve on service stds for this period vs previous years and I feel a personal fulfillment within me and now its time to move on.
As my aunt said in her message "This is it Sue.Its going to be the best year of your life thus far.This is my prayer for you.And my prayers are always answered."

Sunday, January 2, 2011

nostalgia

Thinking of these past few days with mum.
Was super special watching dvds with her and chilling.
It is as if she is making up for all the times I had longed to go to the movies with her when living in Durbs.
Mum was not always open to it.In my mind I thought mum was not for it as she won't make it comfortably without a cig.
That's how I summed it up however mum said again today that she has never been a movie person but has enjoyed these dvds we have been watching together.
I called this post "Nostalgia" as mum told me a few stories about her past.Pleasant stories maybe not at the time when unfolding but real interesting.
Mum spoke a lot abt her days in theatre and this new level of understanding and respect grew within me.
I also realised that when we as kids needed our mum at times for support and care in certain situations she appeared distant as she might have forgotten to remove her doctors cap.
Mum really touched many peoples lives,experienced and saw things we can't imagine and wow life flys by where she finds herself now looking back at that role she once played.
Mum rcvd many special calls over these few days from people from different aspects in her life which moved me deeply.Hearing their care,concern and willingness was so heart warming.