farewell Durbs

I have woken up this morning with butterflies in my tummy.
Working on settling them down....thinking of the people who made the effort to come through yesterday to Aroons place as we changed the venue due to the pouring rain.
It really poured!!!!Friends came in and out and saying goodbye to each person kept cranking the butterflies up in my tummy.
I think thanks to my friends kids they were a distraction from deep conversations and too many questions about how I am feeling ;)
Some friends brought along tokens-gifts for me to take home.Two books on faith,a goodie box filled with things that reminded my friend of me when we worked together years ago(there were Hello Kitty items too!),a beautiful scarf and all round good wishes and generosity.
Aroon was an absolute star helping with the gate letting people in and out so I could chat on with others.
It really was a fab afternoon but once hit the bath I had a proper sob as I bottled in the emotion when saying goodbye to all my friends.
I sat there also hoping that I am doing the right thing and was second guessing my families feeling about me going.
I guess the whole anxiety around mums future is holding their full blown excitement for me....I don't know.I guess this is where that silly world of "expectations" and "perception" comes into play.
I gently reminded myself last night that not everyone deals with things the same way and it doesn't mean that as they don't show it or talk about my trip all the time that they are not supportive and excited for me.Well the reality is that even if they are not happy with it they I know they are and will be supportive when need be.
A gentle reminder of the bond that we have was little Adam asking his dad about his siblings and saying to him that we are friends.His perception of us as siblings really warmed my heart.
I often pine for more communication between us and have realised that this is my longing for something missing.I am a person who loves constant communication and this makes me feel apart of...however I have come along way realising that we are all busy in our everyday lives and a lack of communication now and then is not a sign of less love or less of a bond.
Anyhoo enough ramblings.....time to get ready for the day.Wish me luck!
P.S-I did rcv a text all the way from Seattle yesterday afternoon from my sis who was thinking of me during my picnic.This meant the world to me and was super special.