Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ramblings and findings of a 21 year olds journal

While clearing out some of my storage boxes I came across one of my old journals.
I love journals-jotting down my thoughts and feelings is close to my heart.
This particular journal had entries from my 21 year old mind.I of course read them-made myself comfy and took myself back in time.
Each entry was addressed to Dad.I came a few entries where I stated that the home front was stressful,I was trying my best to do what I could to make things lighter and it didn't feel good enough,Mum was highly stressed and not managing it well and I mentioned in an entry that mum had been to the casino thrice that week and the days after she was always tired and ratty and all I was longing for was more time with her to do mother-daughter things.
I also mentioned to "Dad" that I was amazed at how mum was juggling this all and how she missed him.
I also touched on a siblings temper that was getting out of hand and was not appreciated at that time!!!Lol
I funny enough also had an entry about a possible trip to Dubai on the cards!!!
I then tore the papers up and trashed them.Wonder what other journals I will find.
I was amused and sad at the same time while reading those entries and I mentioned them to my mum.Now you probably wondering why would I do that as it might upset her.
I see it as it was real-I felt those feelings at that time and mum was def doing the best she could in her world at the time.
Lifes lessons have come from them.There is no escaping the reality.We too often go through life not discussing the real matters and I have chosen to embrace them and learn from them best I can.

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