So I made it through the farewell at the airport.Aroon,Tatum,Sacha and Sashe were there to bid me farewell.
We had time for a coffee and we got to take some pics.I didn't take one pic at the Durbs farewell!Guess I was taking it all in and enjoying the moments and somehow I didn't have an urge to take pics!Silly me though as now I regret it.
Saying goodbye at the gate was rather difficult.I couldn't stop tearing and more so as those last hugs and kisses were extra extra special.
I wish I could have bottled them up and carried it with me ;) LOL
It was really special having them there and more so as the Christophers despite landing the day before made the effort to come see me off.
To top it off they also arrived with a gift bag of the most thoughtful goodies for my trip.
Once through the gate I was trying to stop the tears and just as I did I ran into Kav which was great as it forced me to centre myself.
Soon after when heading to the plane I continued to tear!People must have been real curious as to what is going on in my world.
Once on the flight I felt ok as the sun shone onto my cheek and for me that was a positive sign re my trip ahead :)
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
farewell Durbs
I have woken up this morning with butterflies in my tummy.
Working on settling them down....thinking of the people who made the effort to come through yesterday to Aroons place as we changed the venue due to the pouring rain.
It really poured!!!!Friends came in and out and saying goodbye to each person kept cranking the butterflies up in my tummy.
I think thanks to my friends kids they were a distraction from deep conversations and too many questions about how I am feeling ;)
Some friends brought along tokens-gifts for me to take home.Two books on faith,a goodie box filled with things that reminded my friend of me when we worked together years ago(there were Hello Kitty items too!),a beautiful scarf and all round good wishes and generosity.
Aroon was an absolute star helping with the gate letting people in and out so I could chat on with others.
It really was a fab afternoon but once hit the bath I had a proper sob as I bottled in the emotion when saying goodbye to all my friends.
I sat there also hoping that I am doing the right thing and was second guessing my families feeling about me going.
I guess the whole anxiety around mums future is holding their full blown excitement for me....I don't know.I guess this is where that silly world of "expectations" and "perception" comes into play.
I gently reminded myself last night that not everyone deals with things the same way and it doesn't mean that as they don't show it or talk about my trip all the time that they are not supportive and excited for me.Well the reality is that even if they are not happy with it they I know they are and will be supportive when need be.
A gentle reminder of the bond that we have was little Adam asking his dad about his siblings and saying to him that we are friends.His perception of us as siblings really warmed my heart.
I often pine for more communication between us and have realised that this is my longing for something missing.I am a person who loves constant communication and this makes me feel apart of...however I have come along way realising that we are all busy in our everyday lives and a lack of communication now and then is not a sign of less love or less of a bond.
Anyhoo enough ramblings.....time to get ready for the day.Wish me luck!
P.S-I did rcv a text all the way from Seattle yesterday afternoon from my sis who was thinking of me during my picnic.This meant the world to me and was super special.
Working on settling them down....thinking of the people who made the effort to come through yesterday to Aroons place as we changed the venue due to the pouring rain.
It really poured!!!!Friends came in and out and saying goodbye to each person kept cranking the butterflies up in my tummy.
I think thanks to my friends kids they were a distraction from deep conversations and too many questions about how I am feeling ;)
Some friends brought along tokens-gifts for me to take home.Two books on faith,a goodie box filled with things that reminded my friend of me when we worked together years ago(there were Hello Kitty items too!),a beautiful scarf and all round good wishes and generosity.
Aroon was an absolute star helping with the gate letting people in and out so I could chat on with others.
It really was a fab afternoon but once hit the bath I had a proper sob as I bottled in the emotion when saying goodbye to all my friends.
I sat there also hoping that I am doing the right thing and was second guessing my families feeling about me going.
I guess the whole anxiety around mums future is holding their full blown excitement for me....I don't know.I guess this is where that silly world of "expectations" and "perception" comes into play.
I gently reminded myself last night that not everyone deals with things the same way and it doesn't mean that as they don't show it or talk about my trip all the time that they are not supportive and excited for me.Well the reality is that even if they are not happy with it they I know they are and will be supportive when need be.
A gentle reminder of the bond that we have was little Adam asking his dad about his siblings and saying to him that we are friends.His perception of us as siblings really warmed my heart.
I often pine for more communication between us and have realised that this is my longing for something missing.I am a person who loves constant communication and this makes me feel apart of...however I have come along way realising that we are all busy in our everyday lives and a lack of communication now and then is not a sign of less love or less of a bond.
Anyhoo enough ramblings.....time to get ready for the day.Wish me luck!
P.S-I did rcv a text all the way from Seattle yesterday afternoon from my sis who was thinking of me during my picnic.This meant the world to me and was super special.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Aboard the bus heading to the airport
Its a beautiful day in Cpt and here am I sitting on the Myciti bus en-route to the airport for my flight to Durbs.
I feel a little sad already as this trip is a different type of trip.One that I have not done before-one which is a farewell to my friends and family.We never know when we will see each other again.
I never take life for granted as you just don't know what tomorrow holds.
I am also not feeling well which is a bummer.I started sneezing,burning throat and potential aches tingling here and there.
I think a little bit of stress yesterday brought this on.
I also have already been feeling sad around the fact that despite the joy of having mum here in my last month it deeply saddens me to see her in such intense pain and I can see she has lost a little bit more of her spark.
I am so grateful to have her here and to be able to have more special moments together even if its a small chat face to face.
Anyhoo I am missing out on the scenery so best I put this mobile away.
I feel a little sad already as this trip is a different type of trip.One that I have not done before-one which is a farewell to my friends and family.We never know when we will see each other again.
I never take life for granted as you just don't know what tomorrow holds.
I am also not feeling well which is a bummer.I started sneezing,burning throat and potential aches tingling here and there.
I think a little bit of stress yesterday brought this on.
I also have already been feeling sad around the fact that despite the joy of having mum here in my last month it deeply saddens me to see her in such intense pain and I can see she has lost a little bit more of her spark.
I am so grateful to have her here and to be able to have more special moments together even if its a small chat face to face.
Anyhoo I am missing out on the scenery so best I put this mobile away.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
A beautiful day out
On Monday Mitan and I for old times sake hit the gym in the morning.We did a double crunch workout in order to pack it all in.Mitan and I used to gym together year before last for a short period of abt two months.We kept each other motivated and became spinning class addicts.
It was so good to re-live that experience and to top it off we got to attend a spinning class with one of our fave instructors "Arthur."
We had such an awesome work out.We then dashed home and got ready for our day out to Kalk Bay.Cashel,Mitan and I boarded the train from Newlands and enjoyed the sights and sounds.It really is a most beautiful journey along the seaside as you approach Muizenberg.I could see that even some of the local commuters still appreciate the scenery as they too were standing up to peer out of the window.
I kept gasping at the beauty of this city and I let it all sink in.
We got off in Kalk Bay starving!As we walked through Kalk bay deciding where to eat we spotted the most yummy looking red velvet cupcakes at a coffee shop called "Tribeca".
Cashel suggested we buy some takeaways as they might dissapear before we thought we would head back there after lunch.
We secured our cupcakes and went over to Brass Bell.What a gorgeous view and what a stunning day.We had a seat right next to the big glass windows.
It was perfect.During lunch an old lady came to do some laps in the tidal pool next to us.I felt the joy the woman must get from swimming there.I of course felt like I should be in there swimming too!Lol She looked like she did this daily.
After a lunch of random chatter and very good laughs we headed to Tribeca and ended up having hot beverages and the cupcakes out of the takeaway box.Lol
Those cupcakes were so YUM!!!!!At long last I had a decent red velvet cupcake.
We then took a walk through the Main road and window shopped and then headed back to the station.We were tired by then so we sat silently and enjoyed the ride.I recall sitting there feeling deeply grateful for our friendship and for this beautiful day we had had so far and grateful for a damn good tummy workout due to all the laughter!I had not laughed like that in a long time.I cried from laughter and following the morning workout my tummy was a little sore.
We got back to town and chilled for a while and then had a final dinner with Mitan and his friends before he headed back to Jozi the next day.We sat at the bakers table @ Cafe Paradiso and had a most delicous meal.Yip I did have my fave linguine with chilli,parsley and garlic.Simple pastas are the best.
We shared a most delicious choc fondant after our main with a yummy scoop of ice cream.Perfect ending to the three musketeers day :) I went to bed with my heart glowing.The next morning I received an email from Mitan that brought me to tears of gratitude.
He expressed his gratitude for our friendship and was thankful for the day we three had together.Well let me tell you that was the start of an odd tear here and there just at the thought of the friendships and special moments I have experienced and shared here in Cpt.Even a song has triggered some tears this morning.All happy tears :)
It was so good to re-live that experience and to top it off we got to attend a spinning class with one of our fave instructors "Arthur."
We had such an awesome work out.We then dashed home and got ready for our day out to Kalk Bay.Cashel,Mitan and I boarded the train from Newlands and enjoyed the sights and sounds.It really is a most beautiful journey along the seaside as you approach Muizenberg.I could see that even some of the local commuters still appreciate the scenery as they too were standing up to peer out of the window.
I kept gasping at the beauty of this city and I let it all sink in.
We got off in Kalk Bay starving!As we walked through Kalk bay deciding where to eat we spotted the most yummy looking red velvet cupcakes at a coffee shop called "Tribeca".
Cashel suggested we buy some takeaways as they might dissapear before we thought we would head back there after lunch.
We secured our cupcakes and went over to Brass Bell.What a gorgeous view and what a stunning day.We had a seat right next to the big glass windows.
It was perfect.During lunch an old lady came to do some laps in the tidal pool next to us.I felt the joy the woman must get from swimming there.I of course felt like I should be in there swimming too!Lol She looked like she did this daily.
After a lunch of random chatter and very good laughs we headed to Tribeca and ended up having hot beverages and the cupcakes out of the takeaway box.Lol
Those cupcakes were so YUM!!!!!At long last I had a decent red velvet cupcake.
We then took a walk through the Main road and window shopped and then headed back to the station.We were tired by then so we sat silently and enjoyed the ride.I recall sitting there feeling deeply grateful for our friendship and for this beautiful day we had had so far and grateful for a damn good tummy workout due to all the laughter!I had not laughed like that in a long time.I cried from laughter and following the morning workout my tummy was a little sore.
We got back to town and chilled for a while and then had a final dinner with Mitan and his friends before he headed back to Jozi the next day.We sat at the bakers table @ Cafe Paradiso and had a most delicous meal.Yip I did have my fave linguine with chilli,parsley and garlic.Simple pastas are the best.
We shared a most delicious choc fondant after our main with a yummy scoop of ice cream.Perfect ending to the three musketeers day :) I went to bed with my heart glowing.The next morning I received an email from Mitan that brought me to tears of gratitude.
He expressed his gratitude for our friendship and was thankful for the day we three had together.Well let me tell you that was the start of an odd tear here and there just at the thought of the friendships and special moments I have experienced and shared here in Cpt.Even a song has triggered some tears this morning.All happy tears :)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Not long to go
So I managed to pin down my final working day which is the 21st April prior to the easter long weekend.
Does not leave me with many working days left due to lieu days owed etc so basically as of Monday I have 11 working days left.
Lots to wrap up,some training to fit in with the new reservations manager who is coming in especially to have some handover as she only officially joins in May.
This is really a bumper month ahead and I need to desperately get a grip of my energy levels.I am feeling sapped on most days and am not getting to the gym as much as I should.
Started with my vitamins again this week.As much as I have a busy timeline mapped out on my calendar on the back of my bedroom door as well as a copy in my handbag its all very exciting.
Today I experienced attending the last "You make the difference awards" monthly do at work and I sat there thrilled to have shared those experiences over the years and was pleased with myself that on occassion have been nominated too :)
I fell victim to the yummy pastis de nata on the spread and then felt hell of a guilty for having it and this is beacause I know I am not gyming as much as I should!
Anyhoo time is a ticking,three weeks left with my car,two farewell picnics in two different cities and lots to wrap up.Woohoo!!!!
Stay tuned for updates....
Btw my brother Adhil and Bridget have got engaged this eve in Florence!!!!I am so thrilled for them.
They are on an amazing trip travelling through Italy.(Wow wee...)
Am so grateful for Adhils daily texts updating us as to where they are and what they doing.Feeling deep gratitude this evening for a close knit family who show a keen interest in each others experiences.Been consciously thinking of this since last night as I spoke to a family friend from my childhood who has been living an unhappyt life for almost ten years now which has just gone downhill and for me one of the most natural questions was "What does your siblings say" and she said "they don't live here and are busy in their own lives."
My heart felt really sore for her as through my lens I always viewed them as a family who are close knit and would keep communication flowing.
Sometimes my siblings and my life gets busy but I think between us four there is always someone reminding each other that we here and share in each others moments.Hopefully we never reach a point of those long silences where months go back "because life got busy."
Its an excuse which for never sits well.Btw thinking of creating a new blog dedicated to my Dubai experience.
I feel as I am starting a new chapter a new blog is fitting :) Hopefully I will get to load pics more regularly too.
Does not leave me with many working days left due to lieu days owed etc so basically as of Monday I have 11 working days left.
Lots to wrap up,some training to fit in with the new reservations manager who is coming in especially to have some handover as she only officially joins in May.
This is really a bumper month ahead and I need to desperately get a grip of my energy levels.I am feeling sapped on most days and am not getting to the gym as much as I should.
Started with my vitamins again this week.As much as I have a busy timeline mapped out on my calendar on the back of my bedroom door as well as a copy in my handbag its all very exciting.
Today I experienced attending the last "You make the difference awards" monthly do at work and I sat there thrilled to have shared those experiences over the years and was pleased with myself that on occassion have been nominated too :)
I fell victim to the yummy pastis de nata on the spread and then felt hell of a guilty for having it and this is beacause I know I am not gyming as much as I should!
Anyhoo time is a ticking,three weeks left with my car,two farewell picnics in two different cities and lots to wrap up.Woohoo!!!!
Stay tuned for updates....
Btw my brother Adhil and Bridget have got engaged this eve in Florence!!!!I am so thrilled for them.
They are on an amazing trip travelling through Italy.(Wow wee...)
Am so grateful for Adhils daily texts updating us as to where they are and what they doing.Feeling deep gratitude this evening for a close knit family who show a keen interest in each others experiences.Been consciously thinking of this since last night as I spoke to a family friend from my childhood who has been living an unhappyt life for almost ten years now which has just gone downhill and for me one of the most natural questions was "What does your siblings say" and she said "they don't live here and are busy in their own lives."
My heart felt really sore for her as through my lens I always viewed them as a family who are close knit and would keep communication flowing.
Sometimes my siblings and my life gets busy but I think between us four there is always someone reminding each other that we here and share in each others moments.Hopefully we never reach a point of those long silences where months go back "because life got busy."
Its an excuse which for never sits well.Btw thinking of creating a new blog dedicated to my Dubai experience.
I feel as I am starting a new chapter a new blog is fitting :) Hopefully I will get to load pics more regularly too.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
into the DEEP cleaning out!
So I have been doing real well with this clearing out mission.Funny enough its been fairly easy to part with my "stuff" as in my heart it feels right.
People say I am brave to be chucking out and starting over!It feels damn good-let me tell you that much :)
I keep thinking that a lot of this "stuff" sits there in my cupboards probablty wishing they could be seen.(Well that's if the stuff was living!)
What's the use of having all of this when there are tons of people there who would love to have some of my stuff.I have given my stuff to a variety of people-people who are in need,people who wouldn't mind little reminders of me,people who think my stuff could benefit them...
Why have all this stuff put into storage anyway.I don't know what the future holds...who knows where I might go from Dubai.
I don't want to look back thinking "Damn I should have given my stuff to people to use versus it sitting in storage in the dark collecting dust and not being a part of someones everyday joy :)
On a day off today.Spent the morning at the gym...set up two fb invites for my farewells in Cpt and Durbs-still need to contact the peeps not on fb,cleared out loads of stuff and now am at a hidden gem in the city centre "Deluxe Coffee Works" having their much talked abt 10 bucks damn good coffee!
Nice to catch a breather :)
People say I am brave to be chucking out and starting over!It feels damn good-let me tell you that much :)
I keep thinking that a lot of this "stuff" sits there in my cupboards probablty wishing they could be seen.(Well that's if the stuff was living!)
What's the use of having all of this when there are tons of people there who would love to have some of my stuff.I have given my stuff to a variety of people-people who are in need,people who wouldn't mind little reminders of me,people who think my stuff could benefit them...
Why have all this stuff put into storage anyway.I don't know what the future holds...who knows where I might go from Dubai.
I don't want to look back thinking "Damn I should have given my stuff to people to use versus it sitting in storage in the dark collecting dust and not being a part of someones everyday joy :)
On a day off today.Spent the morning at the gym...set up two fb invites for my farewells in Cpt and Durbs-still need to contact the peeps not on fb,cleared out loads of stuff and now am at a hidden gem in the city centre "Deluxe Coffee Works" having their much talked abt 10 bucks damn good coffee!
Nice to catch a breather :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Ramblings and findings of a 21 year olds journal
While clearing out some of my storage boxes I came across one of my old journals.
I love journals-jotting down my thoughts and feelings is close to my heart.
This particular journal had entries from my 21 year old mind.I of course read them-made myself comfy and took myself back in time.
Each entry was addressed to Dad.I came a few entries where I stated that the home front was stressful,I was trying my best to do what I could to make things lighter and it didn't feel good enough,Mum was highly stressed and not managing it well and I mentioned in an entry that mum had been to the casino thrice that week and the days after she was always tired and ratty and all I was longing for was more time with her to do mother-daughter things.
I also mentioned to "Dad" that I was amazed at how mum was juggling this all and how she missed him.
I also touched on a siblings temper that was getting out of hand and was not appreciated at that time!!!Lol
I funny enough also had an entry about a possible trip to Dubai on the cards!!!
I then tore the papers up and trashed them.Wonder what other journals I will find.
I was amused and sad at the same time while reading those entries and I mentioned them to my mum.Now you probably wondering why would I do that as it might upset her.
I see it as it was real-I felt those feelings at that time and mum was def doing the best she could in her world at the time.
Lifes lessons have come from them.There is no escaping the reality.We too often go through life not discussing the real matters and I have chosen to embrace them and learn from them best I can.
I love journals-jotting down my thoughts and feelings is close to my heart.
This particular journal had entries from my 21 year old mind.I of course read them-made myself comfy and took myself back in time.
Each entry was addressed to Dad.I came a few entries where I stated that the home front was stressful,I was trying my best to do what I could to make things lighter and it didn't feel good enough,Mum was highly stressed and not managing it well and I mentioned in an entry that mum had been to the casino thrice that week and the days after she was always tired and ratty and all I was longing for was more time with her to do mother-daughter things.
I also mentioned to "Dad" that I was amazed at how mum was juggling this all and how she missed him.
I also touched on a siblings temper that was getting out of hand and was not appreciated at that time!!!Lol
I funny enough also had an entry about a possible trip to Dubai on the cards!!!
I then tore the papers up and trashed them.Wonder what other journals I will find.
I was amused and sad at the same time while reading those entries and I mentioned them to my mum.Now you probably wondering why would I do that as it might upset her.
I see it as it was real-I felt those feelings at that time and mum was def doing the best she could in her world at the time.
Lifes lessons have come from them.There is no escaping the reality.We too often go through life not discussing the real matters and I have chosen to embrace them and learn from them best I can.
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