The anxiety one feels waiting....

So today I took a half day to take mum to get her bloods done and have a check up with the oncologist. Sitting in the waiting room mum took out a book to read and I guess this was to distract her thoughts. I noticed mums right hand shaking on the page and I asked her if she is ok-she didnt look at me but said "I am worried about what this doctor is going to say." My heart sank thinking all this time mum put on such a brave front and now here she is nervous. I felt helpless but so glad I could be there with her. We after a long wait as you do in a doctors room met Dr. Davids. He was pleasant and had a calming aura around him. Mum seemed fine and after a check up on the chest mum and I were all smiles to hear the doc say "Your chest sounds remarkably good!" Mum was so thrilled and repeated to me what he had just said. We then had the bloods taken and of course the anxiety still lingered as one still has to wait on the phone call to say that the blood count is all good and mum can come in for her scheduled chemo. The chemo suite where mum had the bloods taken was not as smart as Dbn or others mum has been to but of course it was pleasant in appearance. I could not help it but I kept glancing at this young boy sitting there with his mother and sister it seems and a family friend who had brought him easter eggs. This boy looked about my age and I could not help but think how long has he been having treatment and how much longer will he live. Mum and then went to the Pick and Pay and stopped at the Nandos for a little bite. I was exhausted by this time due to a rocky nights sleep. I dashed out to the gym and could not help but think the whole time that I only hope to get home to good news that the chemo is on track and to my relief it is.