Honesty is the best policy

I am sitting and wondering at this hour.....are we always honest with one another-friends,family,collegues?? When it comes to things that you wish you could tell or ask one but then you always guard yourself from possibly facing the truth or guarding another persons feelings as you are unsure if all will turn out well or not.
In my opinion us humans guard each other and live with much not known as we would rather live in a fantasy world.

The anxiety one feels waiting....

So today I took a half day to take mum to get her bloods done and have a check up with the oncologist. Sitting in the waiting room mum took out a book to read and I guess this was to distract her thoughts. I noticed mums right hand shaking on the page and I asked her if she is ok-she didnt look at me but said "I am worried about what this doctor is going to say." My heart sank thinking all this time mum put on such a brave front and now here she is nervous. I felt helpless but so glad I could be there with her. We after a long wait as you do in a doctors room met Dr. Davids. He was pleasant and had a calming aura around him. Mum seemed fine and after a check up on the chest mum and I were all smiles to hear the doc say "Your chest sounds remarkably good!" Mum was so thrilled and repeated to me what he had just said. We then had the bloods taken and of course the anxiety still lingered as one still has to wait on the phone call to say that the blood count is all good and mum can come in for her scheduled chemo. The chemo suite where mum had the bloods taken was not as smart as Dbn or others mum has been to but of course it was pleasant in appearance. I could not help it but I kept glancing at this young boy sitting there with his mother and sister it seems and a family friend who had brought him easter eggs. This boy looked about my age and I could not help but think how long has he been having treatment and how much longer will he live. Mum and then went to the Pick and Pay and stopped at the Nandos for a little bite. I was exhausted by this time due to a rocky nights sleep. I dashed out to the gym and could not help but think the whole time that I only hope to get home to good news that the chemo is on track and to my relief it is.

Settling in

Well my settling into the new place is taking shape nicely. Still working out things here and there but each day its getting better. Learning to bond and consider Toby has been interesting as one has to now shift your pattern of thinking of you and you alone. I really feel as much as this takes from me to adjust in the bigger picture it is teaching me to be more responsible as well as I am conquering my underlying fear of dogs. We doing well so far-I feel more so under pressure at times as toby is a Lab and Labs needs lots of TLC. Yesterday I did so well and walked him on the morning route on my own as well as took him to De Waal park on my own. (pat on the back for me ;) ) Mum arrived on Friday night in high spirits-very high spirits I should actually add and Dills, mum and I went for sushi. Lots of fun had and of course was most special more so that Dills was only going to be in our company for 2 days. It was so good having mum show such an interest in the place I am staying in despite her being hell of a tired. Mum insisted on seeing it on Friday night which made me feel special. Dills and mum ended up sitting for a while watching tv and it was so good to feel a homely feel around me. Mum ended staying from Friday night-on Saturday morning we went to do our threading and then picked up Dills to go to the Biscuit Mill Neighbours market. Mum and Dills sure enjoyed the vibe and we had a good time. I so LOVE it there and would love to take Aroon there when he comes to CPT. I then took Toby to the park while mum and Dills had naps....oh and it was also good to drive around mum and Dills in my new fire engine or "red chilli pepper" as a work colleague calls it. Mum and Dills then convinced me to go to the jazz with them and I am so glad they did. It was such a fantastic experience and more so warmed my heart to see mum in her element jiving like a youngster. It was priceless being together and I sat there thinking " I sure hope we can do this next year with Aroon and Zsa." I felt such a sense of unity at this concert and there was such a vibe I cant explain. We ran into Mr/s Brauns there who are looking so so well and they mentioned having seen me in the mango magazine on their flight in to CPT and I felt so touched when Mr Brauns said that I am doing so well because it made me think it actually all started because of Mrs Brauns having worked at the Hilton Hotel and having offered me the temp work! The evening was a long but memorable one which funny enough started off with us not having tickets but thanks to Mardia persisting we got in after some wheeling and dealing. LOL. Today mum cooked a yummy chicken a la king and we invited Dills over to brunch-we watched the cricket and once again it lovely to have my mum and boet with me. Dills flew off to London today-he is back on friday in time for the Biggest Loser final weigh in and in time to run the half marathon! Can you believe we are at the finishing line of the Biggest loser????? Watch this space for results.