An exciting adventure begins...

So I picked up the keys to the apartment I am moving into today and it was nice to have Dills with me to come scout out the place and the area. It felt oh so right once again going in there for the second time. I feel that I have really made the right choice and I cant wait to explore the city on foot. I am so excited that the "Book Lounge" is in walking distance,there is a coffee shop at the entrance to my place(with wireless-yippee)and Yas lives around the corner. I am going to miss the sunrises,sunsets and living with my boet at Highcape but its time to start new adventures and look at other beautiful sites. I am going to take it real easy moving into this place as I think I have moved a bit too much in a little space of time so for my sanity I think this is a wise move;). I have my buddies coming through tomorrow to help me move the bulk of my stuff and then the bed etc next weekend and Saturday next week should be my first night in the new place. I am off this wednesday so looking forward to unpacking a bit and making my place homely.
Keep an eye out for pics soon. Is anyone still reading my blogs??????

Back home in CPT

Well it was an interesting holiday this time around. I got to spend some decent time with everyone and got some insight into how mum is really doing right now. It was tense at times ironing out her transition and re-assuring her that all will be fine and that we do understand how she feels. On this holiday things did get a bit much where I couldnt handle listening to mums frustrations any longer and I think what makes it more stressful for me is that in the back of my mind I keep thinking this of course is not the way we wanted mums life to turn out and now she is going through all of this and one cannot undo it. We had it out a bit here and there and this is of course not what I want. I want only for her to be at ease and as comfortable as possible right now however she herself is finding her feet and routine after retiring full time. It was heart breaking to have mum give me some crockery to bring back to CPT now-I know that she is only thinking ahead and giving away her sentimental stuff now as we dont go to Dbn often however I could not help feeling a little down when mum was telling me about the crockery pieces and parting with it. Aside from the frustrations I did get to spend some family time with Aroon and family despite the busy weekends and I got to spend time with my friends who I miss dearly. I dont have these type of friends in CPT so when in Durbs I have to fill my soul with these special moments. I managed to host an afternoon tea with my glfs for my bday which was something special as well on this trip. How I miss the girly time! Keep an eye out for some pics that I will post soon.

Durbs....good ol Durbs......

I am blogging this morning sitting in Durbs at Aroon and Heidi.Boeta Dills gave me a lift to the airport-had fun yesterday morning as Dills made me laugh as as him and I say "lorf". All in all I had a good flight-I am getting slightly better with managing my nerves. I was not as anxious as I usually get and the flight was beautiful and smooth. The man sitting next to me did mutter something about the plane not sounding too healthly before we hit the runway but I blocked it out when the noise subsided. I listened to the rest of "The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama and narated by him and the last part looks at his family life. He also had his challenges ;) I was met at the airport by Aroon(Mr.Incredible) and mum and Aziz. We did a bit of pottering @ Windermere cnt and then......stopped for bunnies at Brittania. I didnt expect to have the bunnies on day 1 so this was a bonus. :) We sat together and "crushed it" at home and settled in for the afternoon. It was a good relaxing evening watching the cricket and chilling together. I have decided that this trip I am going to take step by step and not make it so jam packed that I go home feeling like I need a holiday-well lets see how it turns out. I am glad I am going to be with mum for this birthday-one just never knows what the next year holds so when I can I would like to spend as much time with her.

Another new chapter opens

So I guess the wanting to move out and find my own TWO feet and not live with boet and give him his space fell flat BUT was a great experience for me and guess what......I didnt allow the wheels to fall off my bike. I kept riding. I look at the 2 months as a learning experience and I didnt walk away without any gain. I think I grew up a little more and I got to spend time with Toby. It taught me more discipline and commitment to a degree and while I looked after Toby I truly felt this was a bit of insight for me as to when one has a kid! At times I felt like my life was not mine anymore and everything I did was focused around his eating plans etc. I embrassed the change in my life and I got to spend more time with Mariette walking the dogs in the morning and in the afternoons AND I discovered a beautiful walk in on my doorstep that I would not have discovered if I didnt have a dog to walk with Mariette. Moving back to Adhil was not as stressful as I thought as I had such a great group of friends who helped however this moving can be a little unsettling to a degree. The good news is I found a stunning 1 bedroom place in Roeland street. I move in there towards the end of June. I am so excited as it is a place I had envisioned and its just the location I wanted. I now get to start building up my very own collection of household goods-I know it will take a while to build up but its worth it. I feel like a great new chapter of my life is about to begin and it all starts now with me going on leave tomorrow to Durbs where I get to celebrate with 29th bday with my mama dearest and family.

Honesty is the best policy

I am sitting and wondering at this hour.....are we always honest with one another-friends,family,collegues?? When it comes to things that you wish you could tell or ask one but then you always guard yourself from possibly facing the truth or guarding another persons feelings as you are unsure if all will turn out well or not.
In my opinion us humans guard each other and live with much not known as we would rather live in a fantasy world.

The anxiety one feels waiting....

So today I took a half day to take mum to get her bloods done and have a check up with the oncologist. Sitting in the waiting room mum took out a book to read and I guess this was to distract her thoughts. I noticed mums right hand shaking on the page and I asked her if she is ok-she didnt look at me but said "I am worried about what this doctor is going to say." My heart sank thinking all this time mum put on such a brave front and now here she is nervous. I felt helpless but so glad I could be there with her. We after a long wait as you do in a doctors room met Dr. Davids. He was pleasant and had a calming aura around him. Mum seemed fine and after a check up on the chest mum and I were all smiles to hear the doc say "Your chest sounds remarkably good!" Mum was so thrilled and repeated to me what he had just said. We then had the bloods taken and of course the anxiety still lingered as one still has to wait on the phone call to say that the blood count is all good and mum can come in for her scheduled chemo. The chemo suite where mum had the bloods taken was not as smart as Dbn or others mum has been to but of course it was pleasant in appearance. I could not help it but I kept glancing at this young boy sitting there with his mother and sister it seems and a family friend who had brought him easter eggs. This boy looked about my age and I could not help but think how long has he been having treatment and how much longer will he live. Mum and then went to the Pick and Pay and stopped at the Nandos for a little bite. I was exhausted by this time due to a rocky nights sleep. I dashed out to the gym and could not help but think the whole time that I only hope to get home to good news that the chemo is on track and to my relief it is.

Settling in

Well my settling into the new place is taking shape nicely. Still working out things here and there but each day its getting better. Learning to bond and consider Toby has been interesting as one has to now shift your pattern of thinking of you and you alone. I really feel as much as this takes from me to adjust in the bigger picture it is teaching me to be more responsible as well as I am conquering my underlying fear of dogs. We doing well so far-I feel more so under pressure at times as toby is a Lab and Labs needs lots of TLC. Yesterday I did so well and walked him on the morning route on my own as well as took him to De Waal park on my own. (pat on the back for me ;) ) Mum arrived on Friday night in high spirits-very high spirits I should actually add and Dills, mum and I went for sushi. Lots of fun had and of course was most special more so that Dills was only going to be in our company for 2 days. It was so good having mum show such an interest in the place I am staying in despite her being hell of a tired. Mum insisted on seeing it on Friday night which made me feel special. Dills and mum ended up sitting for a while watching tv and it was so good to feel a homely feel around me. Mum ended staying from Friday night-on Saturday morning we went to do our threading and then picked up Dills to go to the Biscuit Mill Neighbours market. Mum and Dills sure enjoyed the vibe and we had a good time. I so LOVE it there and would love to take Aroon there when he comes to CPT. I then took Toby to the park while mum and Dills had naps....oh and it was also good to drive around mum and Dills in my new fire engine or "red chilli pepper" as a work colleague calls it. Mum and Dills then convinced me to go to the jazz with them and I am so glad they did. It was such a fantastic experience and more so warmed my heart to see mum in her element jiving like a youngster. It was priceless being together and I sat there thinking " I sure hope we can do this next year with Aroon and Zsa." I felt such a sense of unity at this concert and there was such a vibe I cant explain. We ran into Mr/s Brauns there who are looking so so well and they mentioned having seen me in the mango magazine on their flight in to CPT and I felt so touched when Mr Brauns said that I am doing so well because it made me think it actually all started because of Mrs Brauns having worked at the Hilton Hotel and having offered me the temp work! The evening was a long but memorable one which funny enough started off with us not having tickets but thanks to Mardia persisting we got in after some wheeling and dealing. LOL. Today mum cooked a yummy chicken a la king and we invited Dills over to brunch-we watched the cricket and once again it lovely to have my mum and boet with me. Dills flew off to London today-he is back on friday in time for the Biggest Loser final weigh in and in time to run the half marathon! Can you believe we are at the finishing line of the Biggest loser????? Watch this space for results.